- 7/04 14:09
FT: France 0 – 1 Germany || THANK YOU FOR BEING OVER, GAME. Soccer has a wonderful way of messing with expectations. On paper, this game had it all: a Sweeper-Keeper, Tom Muller, the potential for a failed Tom Muller trick set piece, Pogba, Valbuena, etc. On the field, both sides were quite lethargic and lacking in quality in the final third. It’s hard to pick anyone who had a standout game—perhaps Sweeper-Keeper, for his timely interventions. But this game was a letdown for everyone interested in being entertained. That includes Griezmann.
Sadly, each game from here on out will include tears. Typically, the tears will come from players. But today, I’m crying, too. Because UGH, TERRIBLE GAME. Thankfully, we have Brazil-Colombia in two hours to save us. Hopefully. Neymar and James in a sea of fans in yellow shirts? Yes, please. In the meantime, say bye to Sweeper-Keeper. But someone keep an eye on him; there’s still a semifinal to play. Thanks for hanging out.
I see what you’ve done, there, Fidel. And, yes, I agree. Please extend that sentiment to the Germans, too. Not even the introduction of Handsome Olivier Giroud can save this.
No one is really impressed by anything. I feel you, French dudes. All that money sunk into those soccer hats for this. It really isn’t fair.
The Germans break the other way. It’s Ozil escaping with the ball down the left. At midfiield, Varane decides to play a terrible offside trap. It doesn’t work well, which doesn’t help curb the jailbreak. As Ozil reaches the box, he crosses. Tom Muller whiffs, and then Andre Schurrle is rejected by Lloris throwing his body toward the ball or “making himself big.” Otherwise, not very impressed with this game, to be honest.
A French free kick from the left channel by Valbuena ricochets off a few Germans and almost into Sweeper-Keeper’s goal. It’s like the Sweeper-Keeper aura won’t allow the French to score.
Germans playing with fire, here. I think I’m sensing a pulse to this game. Benzema with a great opportunity as he receives the ball in the German box, cuts the ball to his left foot—eliminating the extended Phil Lahm from the equation—and smashes the ball toward goal. Mats Hummels disagrees, though, and a last-minute, heroic slide—John Terry-style—prevents French people from celebrating. A shame, really, if you adore French people celebrating.
Yup, 85-year-old Miroslav Klose has left the game. Yes, he aged significantly since earlier in the live blog. He’s replaced by the much younger Andre Schurrle. France replaces Sakho with another center back, Laurent Koscielny. Must be injury-related. Otherwise, that’s a strange use of a substitution if you’re trying to chase a game. But stranger things have happened, I suppose.
This is an important goalkeeping lesson: Goalkeepers can basically punch anything and everything they want in the box with reckless abandon and the referee will award them a free kick, especially if they fall over after punching someone. Goalkeepers must be protected! Fine. But what about sweeper-keepers? I think that’s a fair question.
Yohan Cabaye whips in a cross from the right that finds Varane. Varane directs a powerful header toward goal but Sweeper-Keeper shifts to his left and prevents Varane from celebrating. Well, Varane could have celebrate if he wanted to, but that’d have been bizarre. I’m all for bizarre, though.